


Bubbles

by NuwaWuxia



Category: C-Pop, 乐华七子NEXT | NEX7, 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Best Friends, Cannabis use, Ding Zeren crush, Dorms, F/M, Family Drama, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-16 14:55:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28583847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NuwaWuxia/pseuds/NuwaWuxia
Summary: NEXT (and IP) College AU. Li Quanzhe is your best friend. Everyone thinks you're dating, but his roommate Ding Zeren has had a crush on your since freshman year. Will he find the courage to face his feelings and pursue you?ORA college au where either Xinchun, Zeren or Quanzhe could get the girl.WARNINGS: Recreational cannabis use. We are assuming that they attend an American university in a state where recreational and therapeutic cannabis is legal, however if you don't approve of such things feel free to walk away. Some underage drinking. A slight bit of profanity. Surprisingly, for me, no sex or nudity.
Relationships: Ding Zeren/Reader, Huang Xinchun/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	1. Returning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [41purpose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/41purpose/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've just returned to campus and go to meet your best friend Li Quanzhe and make some new friends. 
> 
> This chapter is longer than most of the other ones will be.

You’ve just returned to the dorms for your sophomore year of college and you haven’t seen your best friend Li Quanzhe in almost three months. Last year you lived on the same floor as Quanzhe and Zeren, his roommate, as well as your friend Wenjun. Zhengting was your RA then, and he still is now, but you’ve both moved up one floor. Now Wenjun is the 7th floor RA, and you can’t help but think that that’s a really terrible idea. After you finish unpacking the few things you’ve brought, you go down to see Quanzhe. 

“Hey, Bubbles,” he greets you with a smile, calling you by his favorite pet name for you. You don’t like your name, so you insist that everyone calls you by a nickname. 

“Hamster!” You throw yourself onto him and he catches you in a hug. “I missed you.”

“Missed you, too, bub,” he says as you slide back to the ground. 

“How was your summer?” You ask. He closes the door behind you and leads you from the common room to his room.

“We texted every day,” he laughs and closes the bedroom door.

“Oh, yeah,” you smile dumbly. “Is Zeren here yet?”

“Not yet.”

“You wanna go eat something?” 

Quanzhe is pulling a box out from under his bed. “Not until after we hit this new bong I bought,” he says as he pulls it out of the box. 

“Li Quanzhe! You got here like five minutes ago and you’re already gonna get written up.” But you’re laughing.

“Nuh-uh, Wenjun is our RA this year. He’s way more chill than Zhengting was. He’s not gonna write me up. Besides his room is all the way at the other end of the hall.” He’s right. Wenjun is chill about everything, and he smoked with Quanzhe all the time last year, so it’d be pretty awkward if he ratted him out now. All reasons that you’re surprised Wenjun actually got the RA position. 

“Okay, but Zeren and his parents could show up at any time. Shouldn’t we wait until they leave?”

Quanzhe sighs. “Yeah. You’re right. I wouldn’t want to get him in trouble.” He looks longingly at the glassware in his hands, but puts it back in the box and shoves the box back under the bed. Just as he does the door of the common room opens and you hear an older woman’s voice. You open the door to see Zeren coming in with his parents following close behind. 

“Hey, Zeren!” you smile and wave. If he were any of your other friends you would run up and give him a hug, but you know he doesn’t like how touchy you are. Sometimes it makes you feel like he doesn’t like you, but you’re not sure. 

“Hey, Bubbles,” he smiles politely and gives you a nod. 

You notice the look that his mom is giving you. It seems disapproving. She just saw you coming out of Quanzhe’s room and she got the wrong impression. She’s heard of you a few times. “Bubbles?” she asks.

“Hello, Mrs. Ding, Mr. Ding. I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.” You extend your hand to shake with them, but their hands are full of Zeren’s things, and you suddenly realize you’re in their way. 

“Nice to meet you, Y/N,” Mr. Ding says with a nice smile. You know both of Zeren’s parents are serious people, but at least Mr. Ding looks nice, like his son. 

“Come on, gege. Let’s give them some room,” you say because you really want to escape Mrs. Ding’s gaze. Quanzhe smiles and nods to them and follows you out to the hall. 

“Wenjun!” you cry when you see him and rush down the hall to throw your arms around him. 

“Hey, Bubs,” he says, laughing. He would probably hug you back if he could, but you’ve pinned his arms to his sides. “How was your summer?”

“It sucked. Cleaning up after my brothers. How was yours?” You saw the instagram pictures of his trip to France. 

“It was good. Good to be back though,” he smiles.

“We’re gonna go eat something. You wanna come?”

“I have to stay here and welcome the residents. You know, RA stuff.”

You shake your head. “I don’t know how they picked you.”

“Clerical error, I’m pretty sure,” he agrees. 

You guys wave and go on your way. You skip down each flight of steps, leaving Quanzhe trailing behind you. You’re elated to be back at school. Classes will start in a few days and your job starts tomorrow, but you’re just happy to be free from the responsibility of being a big sister to your five younger brothers. 

The dorm is more lively when you guys come back later. There are lots of young men and women talking loudly and excitedly, their voices drifting from the open common room doors. Zeren’s parents are gone and there are two new guys sitting in the common room with him. 

“Hey!” Zeren greets excitedly, not like before. “This is Justin and Chengcheng. They’re our new roommates. They’re into rap, too!”

“Hi. I’m Quanzhe. This is Bubbles,” Quanzhe introduces you. 

“Bubbles?” Chengcheng asks, turning his eyes toward you. 

“Yeah, or whatever,” you shrug.

“What’s your real name?”

“I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”

“You told my mom earlier. Should I be worried?” Zeren asks.

“Your mom has grown-up privileges. Not like these nuggets.” They’re clearly freshmen. 

“So are you guys like...dating?” Justin asks curiously. 

You both shake your heads emphatically. “No. Just friends.” You’ve lost count of how many times you’ve had to say this. It made sense a year ago. You guys clicked instantly, on the first day in the dorms just like this one, except you were living across the hall from him, Zeren, Xinchun and Wenjun at the time. When you met it was like you’d already known each other for a long time. You did like him at first because he was funny and quirky and his cute face totally hid his old soul. You guys kissed once. You’d both smoked way too much and you were cuddling in the common room watching _Land Before Time_ and at some point he just kissed you. It was the most awkward, unromantic, least sensual thing either of you’d ever experienced in your life. You immediately laughed and agreed it was awful and that you were just going to be friends. Best friends. It’s easy to see how others see you, though. You’re touchy with him (but to be honest you’re touchy with almost everyone) and you’re always together. 

Justin’s expression changes. He gives you a smile and a nod. 

“Anywayyy. What are you guys doing tonight?” Chengcheng asks, graciously changing the subject. 

“Zeren, are your parents gone?” Quanzhe asks hopefully.

“Yes, they’re gone. You can smoke now,” he says knowingly. 

“Then we’re probably going to be doing that,” Quanzhe tells them. 

“Or you could come to this rap battle with us later,” Zeren suggests. “Ziyi is gonna be in it. They’re having it over at his place. I guess it’s kind of a party.”

Quanzhe looks down at you and wrinkles his nose. Ziyi is the president of the street dance club that Zeren and Quanzhe are in. Quanzhe likes Ziyi, but not his crazy massive parties. But he knows he’ll go if you want to. 

You shrug at him. “If it’s later, I don’t see why we can’t do both.”

“That’s fine,” he agrees. “You guys wanna come smoke?” 

The new boys look at each other a little nervously. 

“C’mon, Ham. Let’s not corrupt the youth.”

Justin turns back to you. “I’ll let you corrupt me,” he says.

“Aw, pumpkin,” you say, patting his head. 

Quanzhe takes your hand and pulls you toward the bedroom. Once again he pulls out the new bong he just bought and fills it up with bottled water. You open the window as far as it will go, just a couple inches. You settle onto Quanzhe’s bed as he packs the bowl at his desk and just as he’s about to light it the door swings open. 

“Mind if I join?” Zeren asks, closing the door behind him. 

“Never,” Quanzhe says because he loves smoking with friends. “You’re always welcome.”

“I thought you only smoked on special occasions.” That’s what he said last year when he got high with you on Quanzhe's birthday. You were honestly a little surprised when Zeren asked to room with Quanzhe again this year, because even though they've been friends since high school you always thought he disliked how much Quanzhe smoked. He doesn’t, and he likes getting high with you guys, but he also likes to practice and focus. He doesn’t let himself have much fun outside of dance, which is half fun and half stressful with how hard he pushes himself. He wants to change that this year.

“I haven’t seen you in months,” he says. “I think it’s a special occasion.” Zeren’s looking at you and speaking to you like you’re his friend. He doesn’t do that all the time, but you appreciate it when he does. You pat a spot on Quanzhe’s bed next to you and he sits. 

You like it when Zeren smokes with you guys because he finally loosens up. He’s usually so serious. He can be chatty and funny at times, but he’s always holding himself up so rigidly. From his perfect posture to his quick and crisp diction, Zeren is always just a little too orderly for you. Sometimes it makes you feel uncomfortable because it makes you feel like a mess. You can see the influence of his parents strongly in that side of Zeren. They probably told him a million times when he was small to stand straight, to keep a straight face, to act properly. He couldn’t be more opposite from you. 

Your mom never had the time to raise you properly, so you turned out just a bit untamed. The first joint you ever smoked was one you secretly stole from her in 10th grade, and she never even called you out on it because honestly what could she really say? She didn’t tell you it was punishment but after that she always made you stay home to look after your younger brothers. She hoped it would keep you from getting into trouble and remind you how bad it would be if you got pregnant too young like she did. It worked. You were usually a pretty good kid, no real trouble. You learned to be responsible for them. But all she really did was make you want to leave home. 

Quanzhe is another story entirely. The poor boy just has too much going on in his head all the time. Loud thoughts that give him anxiety. And smoking helps to quiet them down. His mind is still going all the time, but the thoughts aren’t yelling themselves at him when he’s high and he can function a little better. He likes it best though when other people smoke with him, make him laugh, or just listen to the shit coming through his brain, and you are very good at all those things. 

The three of you pass around the bong for a little while. Quanzhe packs another bowl for you and him after Zeren says he’s had enough. He wants to be able to go out later, and he’s very good at knowing his limits. He’s laughing now though and you really love it when he does that. You wouldn’t say you have a crush on Zeren. You’re hiding it even from yourself, because you’re pretty sure he doesn’t even like you as a friend half the time. It’s not true. He’s just a little distant, a little hesitant. He doesn’t let a lot of people get close, and he’s still testing you out because even though they're close he’s pretty sure you and Quanzhe are lying about being together, so he doesn’t fully trust you and he’s afraid of getting near you. 

The late summer sun is approaching the horizon and you excuse yourself to go upstairs and get ready for the party. Your best friend from high school, Hualing, is your roommate. You tell her about the party and she says she’s already going. Ziyi invited her personally. Hualing is very popular. She always has been. Sometimes you feel that if you hadn’t been friends since you were five you probably wouldn’t be friends at all because your interests are so different, but she’s nice to everyone, including you, and everyone loves her. 

Back in their room, Zeren is changing into one of his favorite button-ups while Quanzhe rolls some joints to take with him for later. 

“So, are you actually going to ask y/n out this year?” Zeren asks as he fastens the buttons. 

“Who?” 

“Bubbles, dumb ass,” Zeren clarifies. 

Quanzhe has literally never called you by your name since the first time you told him you don’t like it. He’s the one who came up with Bubbles. 

_You were doing an icebreaker on your first night in the dorms. He was your first partner._

_”I’m Li Quanzhe. What’s your name?” he asked politely. Even though his hair was bleached blonde and he was wearing eyeliner it was obvious to see he was raised well and he was actually a sweetie._

_“It’s Y/N, but you can call me literally anything but that,” you said. “Most of my friends call me Cupcake.” That’s what your mom called you when you were little and how you introduced yourself on the first day of kindergarten, so that’s what Hualing called you, and everyone wanted to be like Hualing._

_He hummed for two seconds while he thought. “I’m gonna call you Bubbles,” he decided. And for the rest of the night that’s how you introduced yourself. He never could give you a clear explanation why he landed on that, but it stuck with you. You two even marked out your name on the outside of your common room door and wrote Bubbles. Most people didn’t even know your real name._

“Why would I do that?” Quanzhe asks as he deftly rolls a joint, sticking out his tongue to lick the edge. 

“I mean, you guys are practically a couple already anyway. Isn’t it kind of mean to let her hang on to you like that if you aren’t going to date her?” Zeren doesn’t understand your relationship at all. 

“Dude, how many times do we have to say we’re just friends?" 

"I don't know. Just seems like you're lying to yourselves."

"We're not. I love her. Hands down one of my favorite people of all time. We're just not attracted to each other. We kissed that one time and it was just nothing." Quanzhe shrugs as he starts to roll another.

"When did you kiss her?" Zeren asks, shocked by this revelation.

"I dunno. It was like...January?" It was just before his birthday.

"How come you never told me?"

"Was I supposed to?"

Zeren shrugs. He's surprised. He would have liked to have known. He's been thinking about you all summer, even though he's been trying not to. He's been trying not to think about his best friend's girl.

"Do _you_ want to ask her out?" Quanzhe asks. 

Zeren freezes with his hands at his belt buckle. He clears his throat as he finishes buckling it. "No."

"You don't have to lie. But she thinks you don't like her, so you should be nice to her," Quanzhe advises.

"I'm nice."

“You’re a little cold with her.”

“I just try to keep my distance because I thought you guys had something going on.”

“Well, we don’t. You’re both my friends though, so you should be friends with her, too.”

“I thought we were friends.”

“You know what I mean. You’re like, friends through me. And I know she thinks you’re a cool person, so just like talk to her.”

“She thinks I’m cool?”

“Yeah! I sent her that video from your dance competition this summer and she thought you were amazing. She said she watched it like twenty times.” Zeren’s a little mystified by that. 

The party is as big and loud as you expected. You feel bad when Hualing drags you into the center of the party, leaving Quanzhe and Zeren in the corner, but you know that they’re probably gonna hang out there and judge everyone, so they’re fine. You’ve been throwing glances at Zeren every couple of minutes because he’s tied a bandana around his head and you think he looks particularly cute like that. Hualing knows a lot of the older guys at the party and they’re pumping out cups of beer from the keg for her. She hands you one, but you’re not interested, so you hand it off to Chengcheng, who’s been following close behind you, looking at Hualing, and he hands it off to Justin when you’re not looking. Eventually you lose the two of them as you follow Hualing around, chatting to all of her acquaintances. Everyone wants to talk to her, and she loves talking to anyone. You’re used to being her friend, in the totally unnoticeable way, and luckily you’re not uncomfortable with small talk.

“I need to go find Quanzhe,” you tell her about ten minutes later. You know he’ll be uncomfortable if he’s alone and he only came because you wanted to. You let yourself be pulled away by Hualing, but she doesn’t actually need you by her side, not like he does. 

“Of course, you can’t let your boyfriend be alone,” she responds. You just roll your eyes and tell her you’ll see her later because you’ve had this conversation with her too many times. 

“Sorry,” you say to him when you find him in the same spot you left him with a slight look of anxiety on his face. 

“It’s fine. Can we please go smoke now?” he begs. You nod and pull him outside. It’s not that Quanzhe has trouble talking to people. He’s actually quite a good conversationalist. He just hates crowds and loud places. 

Out in the backyard of the house that Ziyi shares with Xukun, Yanjun and several other guys you find other familiar faces doing the same thing you came for. Chaoze and Zhou Rui are talking animatedly about some new video game, and Quanzhe joins in. Even though you have no idea what you’re talking about he looks happy, and you’re pleased just to be around people after being stuck in your house all summer. After who knows how long and several joints later Zeren sticks his head out the back door, finding the two of you exactly where he expected, and tells you that the battle is about to begin. 

You head inside and stand beside Zeren close to the edge of the circle. He tells you that Ziyi and Xiao Gui have been talking shit on social media all summer, so they arranged this battle to settle their feud. They battled once before last year, with Xiao Gui as the winner, and even though you’re not really into this scene you’re getting hyped by the crowd. It’s a pretty close battle, but Xiao Gui was better in your opinion. You’re not really sure what the outcome is though because just as things are wrapping up your attention is drawn by movement to your right. It’s Justin and he’s running for the door. You turn and follow him out of the room you’re all in just in time to see him go out the front door. When you finally make it through the crowd he’s just burst through you find him throwing up over the side of the porch.

“It’s okay,” you tell him quietly, rubbing wide circles on his back.

“Ah fuck. Go away,” he says when he can breath. You can tell by his tone that he’s embarrassed. 

“It’s fine, dude. Happens to everyone. Just let it out.” Whether he wants to or not, it’s coming out, and you just stay with him for several minutes while he retches. Minutes later your phone beeps. 

>>Quanzhe: Where’d you go bubs?  
>>You: With Justin. Find water and come to the porch.

It only takes a minute for Quanzhe to come to you and hand you a bottle of water. You unscrew the top and hand it to Justin, who’s finally done puking, but he looks like hell. 

“Shit, I’m so embarrassed,” he mumbles.

“Don’t worry about it,” you say, brushing his sweaty hair off his forehead. “First time?” He nods sheepishly. He leans against a pillar on the porch and catches his breath. “How old are you, Justin?” You hadn’t thought to ask before. 

“Seventeen,” he admits. 

“Well, shit. Now I feel bad. I’ve been an irresponsible parent,” you say to Quanzhe, who just chuckles. 

Zeren and Chengcheng find you on the porch, and they both look surprised. 

“What happened?” Zeren asks.

“Nothing major. I think we need to get Justin home,” you say, helping the young man to his feet. 

“Damnit, Justin,” Chengcheng complains. 

“Hey! Someday this is going to happen to you, and you’re going to want someone to be nice to you,” you warn him defensively. Justin is your baby now and you’re not going to let anyone treat him badly. 

“Sorry,” Chengcheng mumbles. “I’ll get us a car,” he says, clearly looking guilty. You look him up and down for the first time and you realize from his clothes and just the way he carries himself that he comes from money. For a moment you’re instinctively repulsed but then you mentally slap yourself for being an ass. Quanzhe and Zeren both come from well-off families, and you’ve never let that stop you from being friends with them. The five of you pile into a car and in the back you let Justin lean his head on your shoulder. With help from Chengcheng you’re able to get the youngest boy up to the dorm and into bed. You take off his shoes and cover him with a blanket. As you brush the hair off his forehead again you realize that maybe you’ve become protective of him because he looks a lot like one of your younger brothers. Quanzhe invites you to stay and hang out for a while but you decline. 

In the morning you wake up early to go to your favorite donut shop and get a dozen to take back to the dorms with you. You make a stop by Wenjun’s door to offer him one and Zhengting is there, which is nice because it saves you a trip back upstairs. Then you head down to the boys room. You’re not sure if anyone will be up, but Zeren is still an early riser, like you, and you can hear the TV on in the common room so you knock gently. He answers quickly and with a look of surprise, but it quickly turns to a tired smile when he sees you. 

“Donut?” you offer as you slide into the room. He carefully chooses a chocolate iced one and smiles in appreciation. “Are you the only one up?” you ask and he nods. 

You’ve been in the dorms for less than twenty for hours, and you don’t even live here but you make yourself at home. Quanzhe can’t live without coffee and luckily he has already set up the machine, so you go ahead and make a pot. You get a bottle of water and let yourself into Justin and Chengcheng’s room. You’re definitely overstepping boundaries, but you can’t stop yourself from taking care of people. So quietly that neither of them even notice, you put the water and a couple of painkillers you’ve brought with you on the desk next to Justin’s head and hope he’ll notice whenever he wakes up. You go back out to the common room and sit on the couch, waiting for coffee to be ready. Things are quiet between you and Zeren while you watch anime. 

“I forgot how nice things are when you’re around,” Zeren says after he takes his first sip of coffee, and you’re stunned into silence because you’re pretty sure that’s the first compliment Ding Zeren has ever given you. You can only smile in response. 

Eventually Justin wanders out before either of the other boys, so you figure he’s feeling pretty awful. He comes just to stand in the doorway looking sleepy and confused. 

“Did you take the medicine I left on your desk?” you ask. He scrunches his face up at you and goes back to his room, only to return a moment later with his water. 

“Thanks,” he mumbles, laying himself on the couch with his head in your lap. Neither of you question it, like you’ve known each other forever. You run your fingers through his hair to sooth him.


	2. Calculus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're bad at math and Huang Xinchun offers to tutor you, but he may want more than that.

You’re on your way to meet Quanzhe and Zeren to go to dinner when you hear a familiar voice coming from Wenjun’s room. Since he’s an RA he usually has his door open when he’s hanging out at home, but the voice you hear drifting from within isn’t of a current resident. 

“Hey, Xinchun!” you say brightly, peeking your head around the door frame.

“Hey,” he responds. He’s never felt comfortable calling you Bubbles, but he’s not close enough with you to have his own nickname for you, so he just doesn’t address you. 

“How’s your semester?” He’s started small talk and that’s all the invitation you need to come into the room and chat.

“Ugh. Not great. I failed my calculus test today. I’m just not good at math,” you complain. 

“Me neither, Bubs,” Zhengting says from the corner where you didn’t see him. “It’s okay.”

"It's okay, Ting. At least you have your beauty to fall back on," you tease, and he blushes.

“I can help if you want,” Xinchun offers, catching you by surprise. 

You cock your head at him. “You could tutor me in calculus?”

“Sure. Zhengting would still be taking calculus if it weren’t for me.”

“He is actually a good teacher,” Zhengting agrees. “I actually got a B-, which for me is like an A.”

You can sense Quanzhe at your back. He and Zeren heard your voice from down the hall, and Zeren suggested they go meet you. He claims it’s because he’s hungry. 

“Well, if you have the time, that would be so helpful. I have to work all weekend, but I’m free Monday evening.”

“That works for me,” he nods. 

“Thank you so much. Get my number from Wenjun and text me later okay!” Quanzhe is tugging on your shirt and you know he wants to go. “Bye!” you say excitedly as you turn to leave. 

“They’re still together?” Xinchun asks when you leave. 

“They’re still just friends. According to her that’s all they ever have been and all they’ll ever be,” Zhengting tells him. You talk to Zhengting sometimes, because he’s easy to talk to. 

“Do you believe them?” Xinchun wonders.

“If you’re asking if she’s available, then the answer is go for it. She’s so sweet.” Zhengting has a soft spot for you, probably because you’re always complimenting him and you’re good at helping him keep the peace in the dorms. 

“You have her number?” Xinchun asks Wenjun, who’s already texting him your contact. 

\----

Xinchun texts you and you set up a time to meet on Monday evening. You tell him you don’t actually have money to pay him, but you can give him food. He suggests you buy him dinner if your grade on your next exam improves, and you agree. You meet Xinchun at his favorite spot in the library. It’s a quiet, secluded corner on a high floor where there are fewer people, even at the peak hours. He brings study snacks and shares with you. Just after he begins helping you with your homework, he starts to get you off track, which isn’t that difficult to do. 

“Can I call you something other than Bubbles?” he asks as he watches you chew your lip over the first problem. “It just doesn’t feel natural to me, and I feel really awkward not addressing you at all,” he chuckles a little awkwardly. 

“You can call me whatever you want,” you smile easily. 

“Um, I don’t even know your real name. You’ve never told me. Quanzhe just introduced you to us as Bubbles and that’s all I’ve ever known.” 

“That’s how I wanted it. I don’t like my government name. There are only like two people at this whole school who actually know it, and they’ve been sworn to secrecy. But in grade school all my friends called me Cupcake,” you tell him with a smile. You like the cutesy nicknames because they make you feel adorable and small. 

He wrinkles his nose at that one too. “Why don’t you like your given name?” he wonders.

“That is also top secret information. You can call me Susan for all I care,” you suggest.

He leans back in his chair to think and you turn your attention back to your calculus problem, but it’s really a forgein language to you. 

“I’m going to call you Agnes,” he decides a minute later. 

“Agnes?” you repeat in confusion, wondering where the hell he came up with that one. Then you remember vaguely that he has some strange affinity for minions. “Don’t you think I’m more of a Margo?”

“You wish you were a Margo. You just think that because you want to be the boss and protect everyone, but there’s just a little bit too much childlike wonder in your eyes to be a Margo, and you’re definitely way too trusting.” You narrow your eyes at him, not appreciating his analysis of you. “Oh, and you definitely believe in unicorns.”

“It’s not like I _believe_ in unicorns. I just think they would be nice..” He laughs adorably at your strange remark and then checks the answer on your first problem. He tells you exactly where you went wrong and does a remarkably good job of explaining the concept to you so that you understand. 

“Why are you taking calculus anyway? Aren’t you a psychology major? Or did you change?” he asks as you’re packing your things up. 

“I am. I still needed a math class and I registered late, so it was the only one that I could get into.”

“You don’t seem like someone who usually does things late. You’re always on top of stuff,” he observes. You get the strange feeling that he’s watched you more than you realized.

You nod, regretfully. “Yeah, I usually am, but I wasn’t sure if I was going to come back this semester until it was already August.” You had even kept that secret from Quanzhe. 

“Why not?” You two are in the elevator riding down to the ground floor and you’re not alone, so you just don’t respond. When you get out he’s still looking at you like he’s expecting an answer. 

The group of people around you disperses and you breathe. “Just some family stuff I’d rather not get into,” you admit. It’s always family stuff with you. He nods understandingly. “Would you be able to meet at the same time on Wednesday?” you ask. 

“Yeah, you can find me at the same place,” he tells you and the two of you part ways with a wave after you exit the library doors. 

\----

After two weeks of Xinchun’s help you end up with an A minus on your next exam. You text him ecstatically.

You >> Hey bud! I aced my exam! You’re a miracle worker!  
Xinchun >> That’s great Agnes! I knew you could do it.   
You >> Lol. So, I owe you dinner!  
Xinchun >> You really don’t have to do that. It was my pleasure.  
You >> No no no! You really saved me. When are you free?  
Xinchun >> Okay. Well, I’m free tonight, if you are.  
You >> Tonight is fine. Pizza?  
Xinchun >> I like pizza  
You >> Everyone likes pizza! Meet me at Perry’s at 7?   
Xinchun >> I will see you there

\----

“So, Quanzhe doesn’t mind that you’re here?” Xinchun asks nervously after you’ve ordered and sat down at the dingy little pizza joint. It’s Friday night and it’s pretty busy, but you managed to snag a table

You wrinkle your eyes at him. “Why would he mind?”

“Um, well, everyone kind of thinks you’re a couple,” he stammers.

“I don’t know why everyone thinks that,” you mumble.

“You guys are close, and you spend a lot of time together. And if you’re not you hold his hand an awful lot.”

You try not to roll your eyes. “Quanzhe has warm hands. And since we spend so much time together, if we were dating wouldn’t we be open about it? Why would we act like that in public and then deny it. That makes no sense.”

He thinks about that for a moment and realizes you’re right. “Yeah, I guess that doesn’t make sense. Sorry.”

“It’s fine. But if you could let people know we are definitely not dating that would be great.” You’re not doing a good job of hiding your annoyance. 

“Sure. Yeah. No problem,” he mumbles, looking like he wishes he could fall into a black hole. He pulls himself back together and turns his attention to the food. 

After you get over that initial hurdle, you actually have a pretty nice time with Xinchun. He’s not a stranger to you since you’ve known him from his time living with Quanzhe, Zeren and Wenjun. You never spoke to him much last year, at least not one on one. But over the last couple of weeks you've gotten to see that he’s funny, but in a subtle, intelligent way, not the zany, energetic way Justin or even sometimes Quanzhe is. He’s sweet and has lots of interesting stories to tell. You share some memories from the previous year and your conversation is easy, but you’re good at conversing with just about anyone. It’s one of your super powers. At the end of dinner he walks you back to your dorm. 

“So, I had a good time tonight,” Xinchun says, catching you a little off guard, but you aren’t sure if it’s the words or the stiltedness of them. 

“Yeah, me, too,” you respond, because you actually did. 

He scratches the back of his neck. “Would you maybe want to have dinner again, like a date? Sometime?”

You smile at his awkwardness and his offer. He is actually very nice, and even though you don’t think you like him that way, you think maybe you could if you spent more time with him. And it isn’t like guys are banging down your door to ask you out. They always come for Hualing. Besides, isn't dating one of those things you’re supposed to do in college?

“Sure. That’d be nice,” you say with a sincere smile. 

He sighs in relief. “Okay, great! Um, I’ll text you this weekend.”

“Cool.” 

To the surprise of both of you he leans down to kiss your cheek, and then he says goodbye and walks away from you just as you see Quanzhe and Zeren walking up from the other direction. 

“Was that Xinchun?” Zeren asks when they get to you. 

“Yes.”

“And did he just kiss you on the cheek, or have I not smoked enough weed?” Quanzhe asks, making you laugh. 

“Yes, he did. He just asked me out. Can you believe it?” you’re still smiling. 

“I cannot. I think I need to smoke a lot to be able to process this information,” Quanzhe replies and starts to head inside. You don’t notice the way Zeren’s face has collapsed in hopelessness. “I didn’t even know you liked him,” Quanzhe continues as you wait for the elevator.

“I don’t. Or I didn’t. I don’t know. We’ve spent a lot of time together lately with him tutoring me. Anyway, it’s just a date.” You play with your hair while you ride the elevator up. 

On the way to their room you all stop at Wenjun's door. 

"Jun, Xinchun just asked Bubbles out. Please help me convince her this is a bad idea," Quanzhe says with his arm over you. 

"No can do, bro," Wenjun replies, still playing his video game.

"Why not?" Zeren wants to know, breaking his silence of the last few minutes. 

Wenjun pauses to look at the trio. "Because Xinchun is a good guy? And if we drive her away from the one guy who actually likes her I'm afraid Bubs may die alone."

Quanzhe gasps. "How dare you!" He pulls you against your chest in an exaggerated attempt to comfort and protect you. "If no one else would I have her, I'd marry her," he says while stroking your hair roughly.

"Thanks for the confidence guys," you mumble dryly against his chest. Quanzhe releases you. 

"What's so great about Xinchun anyway?" Quanzhe asks. 

Wenjun shrugs, returning to his game. "I don't know. He’s nice. He’s smart. He can cook. His Tiktok is blowing up." 

"His tiktok?"

"Yeah, he's lowkey Tiktok famous. How did you not know that?" 

"I don't really use Tiktok." You never really saw the appeal.

Wenjun pauses again to pull out his phone and show you some of his videos. You think he's actually really adorable. You can see boyfriend material.

"Cool. I think I will go out with him," you smile.

Quanzhe grabs your hand and pulls you off Wenjun’s couch with a “C’mon.” He drags you all the way back to his room where you sit on his bed and wait for him to get organized. Zeren sits quietly opposite you. 

“Why are you so against me dating Xinchun?” you wonder as he moves about. 

“Oh, I don’t actually care,” he admits. “I was just being dramatic. You can date whoever you want. And Wenjun’s right, you better take any chance you get,” he teases. 

“You’re so mean to me,” you whine, pouting a little. 

“Only ‘cause I love you.”


	3. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have your date with Xinchun, but of course the other guys aren't going to go easy on you.

“We heard you’re going to Xinchun’s for your date,” Wenjun says when you open the door to your dorm to see him, Zhengting, Quanzhe, Zeren, Justin and Chengcheng waiting for you. They’ve come to embarrass you. 

“He’s going to cook me dinner and then we’re going to study. It’s not a big deal,” you say like you didn’t spend the last hour obsessing over your hair and what you were wearing. 

“So it’s not a date,” Chengcheng says. He doesn’t even know Xinchun. 

“I didn’t say that,” you tell him defensively. 

“I don’t know. If you have to take your backpack, I’m not sure it’s a date,” Zhengting agrees.

You push past them to take the stairs, and the whole pack of boys follows you. 

“Is he that boring?” Chengcheng asks. 

“Some people might think it’s boring. But I think it’s efficient.”

“I think it’s not a date,” Quanzhe pushes. 

“Yeah, if I was taking a girl on a first date, I would take her out on the town, somewhere nice,” Wenjun chimes in. 

“Well, I’m not that hard to please,” you shrug as you hop down the steps. 

“It’s only a date if he kisses you,” Chengcheng says. Zeren stares at him like he wants to stuff something in his mouth. 

“How is that a rule?” you wonder.

“I don’t know, but it is. If you come home unkissed, it wasn’t a date.”

“Okay, well,” you don’t actually have any comeback to that. 

“All I want to know is if he’s going to be my new father,” Justin says from right behind you. 

You stop at the landing and turn to him. 

“It’s just a date. Don’t stay up too late,” you say, patting his cheek firmly. When you continue down the stairs they don’t follow you anymore.

“It’s not a date!” Chengcheng calls one final time. 

“Don’t wait up!” you call back. 

So, it’s not dinner and a movie, but it is dinner, and you’re the one who needs help with your homework. Xinchun invited you over to his place instead of your regular meeting because he didn’t want to wait until the next weekend for your date, and you thought that was sweet. He makes you fettucini alfredo, and it’s actually amazing. 

“Where’d you learn to cook?” you ask when you’re not stuffing your face. 

“I took a culinary class in high school. Cooking’s actually the only reason I moved out of the dorms. I couldn’t take another year of campus food,” he admits.

“Hey! I make campus food...and I don’t blame you at all.” You both laugh and keep eating. 

“Has my cousin been behaving himself?” Xinchun asks out of the blue.

Your face twists in confusion. “Do I know your cousin?”

“Justin,” he explains.

“You’re kidding?” He shakes his head. “He’s a good kid. He thought he’d come into college a little wild, but he’s actually settled down. He’s cute. I like him.”

“Cute like a kid or cute like me?” Xinchun asks, and you nearly spit out your water. 

“Cute like one of my little brothers,” you tell him with a smile and he gives you one back. 

You finish dinner and offer to do the dishes but he won’t let you. He still helps you with your homework. 

“I’ve seen your Tiktoks. You’re really cute,” you tell him as you’re putting your books in your backpack. 

“Really?” He’s flustered, and it’s even cuter. “Uh, well, I was gonna make one tonight after you left. But we could make one together...if you want?” He’s blushing and it’s so adorable. 

“I’ve never made one before, but that sounds fun,” you agree. 

He sets up his phone and grabs one of his hoodies. In the video he tosses the hoodie up in the air and when it drops it’s you in his arms wearing his hoodie. It takes way longer than it should with how much the two of you are laughing. 

And he does kiss you. He does it once, after his last attempt to hold you. Neither of you are laughing when he puts your feet on the ground. You lock eyes before he lets you go completely and he presses his lips to yours gently. He makes sure to edit that part out of the video. After he shows you how he edits it and posts the video, he drives you back to your dorm and gives you one more soft kiss before you get out. 

You go to Zhengting’s room, but there’s a note on his door that he’s in Wenjun’s, so you reluctantly go down to the 7th floor. They’re watching a movie and turn to look at you while you stand in the hallway, just outside his door. 

“So, was it a date?” Zhengitng asks.

You roll your eyes, but then you smile. “Yes, it was a date.”

“Chengcheng!” Wenjun yells. You look down the hall to see the freshman’s head poke out of his room. “You owe me ten bucks!” 

Chengcheng looks at you. “Damn. How was it?” he asks, lifting his eyebrows. You roll your eyes and go back upstairs, yelling your goodnight down the hallway.

Chengcheng walks into Quanzhe and Zeren’s room to give Quanzhe the ten bucks he owes him as well. 

“They kissed?” Zeren asks, distraught. 

“I’m not surprised. I just saw he posted this video.” Quanzhe shows the others. 

“Looks like she’s all boo’d up now,” Chengcheng says, shaking his head.

Zeren covers his face with his hands and throws himself back on his bed after the younger boy leaves. “Quanzheeeeee,” he moans. “How could you let her date him?”

“Okay, dramatic much? She’s her own grown ass woman and she can date whoever she wants,” Quanzhe tells him, turning around in his chair to get back to his work. 

“I know. But why does she have to?” Zeren whines.

“Because you won’t ask her out. Because you’re a coward.” 

“Quanzhe. How could I? Possibly?” he stretches his hands up toward the ceiling in wonder.

“By asking her? It’s not that complicated. Use your words.”

“You know I’m not good at that.”

“Well, then I guess you’ll just have to die alone,” Quanzhe laughs.

“Ugh. She’s right. You are mean.”

Quanzhe turns back to his poor roommate. “Relax, okay. She may like him right now, but they won’t last. You can be there when they break up.”

“How do you know?”

“I just don’t think they’re right for each other.” Quanzhe shrugs. “Not in the long run. Don’t worry.”

But Zeren doesn’t feel better. He turns down the volume on his phone so Quanzhe won’t know that he’s watching the video you made with Xinchun over and over on his phone until he realizes that’s just driving up Xinchun’s views and shuts off his phone, throwing it aside in frustration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is kind of short. But at least Xinchun gets a little male lead action.


	4. Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zeren becomes your late night study partner.

One night you work the closing shift at the campus dining hall that just so happens to be next door to the building where Zeren practices dancing. He tends to come late to practice when everyone else has gone home. It’s past ten now. He recognizes your figure walking a little ways ahead of him. 

“Bubbles!” he calls in a weird mixture of a whisper and a yell. You turn, confusion clear on your face. 

“Oh, hey, Zeren.” He jogs forward to catch up with you and you both start walking again.

“Did you just get off work?”

“Yeah,” you say, exhaustion clear in the small word. “What are you doing out?”

“Just practicing.” He doesn’t sound tired at all though. You start to turn right when he turns left. “Where are you going?”

“To the library.”

“Is the library still open?” he chuckles. 

“They don’t close until midnight, and Hualing goes to bed super early, so I have to go study there.”

“Oh,” he says quietly. He seems to hesitate on something. You’ve gone just a few feet from each other, but he turns and comes in your direction. “I’ll come with you.”

“Why?” you wonder. 

“Well, I was just going to go study in the dorm, but if I let you go by yourself I’ll just worry about whether or not you get home okay, so I’ll go with you.”

“You’d worry about me?”

“Of course.”

“Why?”

He’s suddenly flustered. “Um...I guess...because you’re a girl...and you shouldn’t be out alone...late at night...right? I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if something happened to you.”

“You don’t think I can take care of myself?” You’re being cheeky.

“I’m sorry if it sounds super misogynistic, but I don’t think you should have to,” he says seriously, and you’re touched in spite of the fact that you don’t like to be seen as weak. 

“Oh. Okay, well, if you want.” 

You set off in the direction of the library. You find a table and sit together. A couple of times you catch him looking up at you and he catches you, too, but neither of you say anything about it. You don’t leave until the library is closing. As you walk home you’re talking about something Xinchun said the other day. He seems a little stiff listening to you, but maybe that’s just typical Zeren stiffness. 

“I’m sorry for keeping you out so late,” you say when the elevator opens on the seventh floor. You get out with him, ready to take the last flight of stairs up to your own room. “I appreciate you staying with me.”

“Oh, it was no trouble. My pleasure. I actually got work done and I probably would have just blown off my work and gone to sleep if not for you,” he admits. 

“Well, you’re welcome to join me anytime,” you offer, and he thinks he will. 

Two nights later he waits outside your work for you to finish. It stops you dead in your tracks. 

“Did you wait for me?”

“Only for a minute. This just happens to be the time I usually finish dancing.” That’s partially true. He doesn’t have a set time, normally, just goes until he feels like stopping but tonight he stopped in time to meet you here. “So, library?”

“Yeah,” you agree, a little breathless. 

At midnight you pack up your things and go. On the walk back to the dorm he tells you about something funny Justin and Chengcheng did the other day. It was something totally stupid, but you enjoy listening to him tell it and the sound of his laughter. To your right you hear a strange sound, like an animal whining and you stop to listen. He doesn’t notice until you’re already off the sidewalk and going in another direction. 

“Bubbles, where are you going?” he asks, but follows you without hesitation. 

You follow the sound over to the edge of the grass where there’s a ledge. Over the ledge is a drop of about six feet, and below is where the sound is coming from. The whining is louder. It takes a moment for your eyes to find it in the darkness, but there’s a puppy down below and it’s gotten stuck in a small gap between two walls. 

“Zeren there’s a dog down there!” you tell him anxiously. He rushes over to peer over the edge. You could go in either direction and take the long way round to get down there, but instead you hop over the edge before he can even say anything. You’re able to reach into where the poor creature is stuck and pull it out. 

“Bubbles, how are you gonna get back up?” Zeren asks you, laughing. You hadn't thought about it. 

“Oh. Um. Meet me up ahead,” you tell him and he agrees, shaking his head at your impulsiveness. You set off in the direction of the dorm and Zeren is waiting for you at the intersection. “Zeren, meet Honey.”

Zeren bends down to scratch the dog's neck. “Did you just name him Honey?” Zeren asks, noting that there’s no collar. 

“I just named _her_ Honey. And she likes it very much.” You give her a little squeeze. “C’mon let's get back to the dorms.”

“I don’t think we can take Honey into the dorms,” he says regretfully. 

“Well, obviously we can’t, but we’re going to.” 

“How?”

“All we have to do is get past the front desk. You know Wenjun is already asleep. Then we can figure out what to do tomorrow.”

“I don’t know…”

“Do you not like dogs?” you ask, ready to full on judge him as a human being. 

“No, I love dogs. I just don’t know how we’re going to pull it off. Where are we going to keep her?”

You hold Honey up by your face. “I can stay with you,” you say in a sweet voice. 

“Why can’t you stay with her?” Zeren asks the dog, pointing his chin at you. 

“Hualing will freak. But I swear I’ll take her back and wash her and I’ll sleep with her on the couch. Please, please, please, Zeren.” You both make puppy eyes at him.

He smiles at how cute the two of you are. “It’s fine with me. But you’ll have to ask your father.”

You grin. “Quanzhe loves dogs.” You already know Justin loves dogs. He’s never said so, but he’s like a dog, so you just know he will. You hope that Chengcheng will be cool about it. You continue to the dorm and put Honey in your backpack when you’re outside. You tell her to be very quiet and hurry past the front desk as quickly as possible. The senior working there isn’t paying any attention to you at all. After that it’s easy. Wenjun has gone to bed already, like you expected. 

“Dad?” you ask as you kneel down on the floor of the common room and take off your backpack. 

“What have you done?” Quanzhe asks, coming into the room and putting on a voice of authority. 

You pull Honey out of the bag. “Can we keep her?”

“OMG a PUPPY!” Quanzhe squeals loudly. You shush him and he throws himself to the ground to be able to pet the helpless creature. “What did you name her?” Quanzhe asks, knowing you perfectly. 

“Honey.”

“Oh my god. Hello Honeeeey.” He scratches the puppy all over. “Oh, you’re stinky.”

“I know. I wanna give her a bath.”

Quanzhe picks her up to carry her to the bathroom. 

“Did I hear puppy?” Justin asks excitedly, appearing in the way. He looks like he’s gotten out of bed to come see. “A PUPPY!” You really have to stress to these boys the importance of being quiet. Justin follows you into the bathroom and you all help to bathe her. It’s too much help really, and everyone is laughing and getting soaked as you try to wash her in the shower. After she’s clean it takes a long time for the excitement to wear off. Quanzhe, Zeren and Justin pass her back and forth continuously so she’s never put down. You keep your promise to stay with her. You all watch a movie on the couch and you fall asleep half-way through. Zeren ends up falling asleep on the floor in front of you. 

“What’s going on?” a very confused Chengcheng asks in the morning. He slept through all of last night’s excitement. “What’s that?” He’s pointing to Honey, sleeping behind your legs. 

You stretch your arms out and yawn, noticing how stiff you are form sleeping on the couch. “That’s a dog, Chengs.”

“Obviously. How did it get here?”

“We rescued her last night.”

Zeren is slowly waking up, rubbing his eyes. “She probably needs to go outside.”

“Oh. Shit. You’re right. We’re gonna need to sneak her back outside.”

You borrow one of Quanzhe’s oversized sweatshirts and shove her underneath. You and Zeren both take her out, that way he can be a distraction if necessary. You manage to get outside without any problems. While she does her business and you keep an eye on her, Zeren looks up information about a shelter. 

“I found one, but it’s too far to walk, and we can’t take a dog on the bus.”

“I’m free this morning. I can ask Wenjun to drive me.”

“I’m free, too,” he says, feeling sad that you tried to exclude him. “But what if he gets mad.”

“When has Jun ever gotten mad?” Zeren shrugs his agreement. 

You put Honey back under your shirt and take her back upstairs. Even though you convinced Zeren, you still feel nervous when he actually knocks on Wenjun’s door. He answers looking tired. You didn’t wake him up, but he was still in bed. 

“What did you do?” he asks immediately. 

“Don’t be mad,” you say sweetly. 

His eyes drift down to the movement in your chest and you pull Honey out. He stares at her for a second. “You can’t have a dog in the dorm,” he says in monotone.

You roll your eyes. “We know. That’s why we need you to drive us to the shelter.”

He takes a deep breath and exhales before going to grab his keys and throwing a hat backwards over his messy hair. The ride is quiet as you and Zeren both sit in the backseat and play with her. When you get to the shelter you’re both sad to let her go. 

On the following Saturday you go down to the boys room to see if any of them want to go to the shelter with you to volunteer and visit all the sad dogs you saw there. Zeren and Quanzhe both go with you. You text Xinchun to see if he wants to go as well, but he says he’s busy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can definitely see Zeren rescuing dogs IRL. Zeren with dogs is my favorite.


	5. Choose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have nightmares, and you have to choose the people who support you. It's not a hard choice really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE EMOEST HAMSTER LI QUANZHE. Can't believe this little baby is 20 years old.

You wake up in a cold sweat. It’s a familiar feeling. It’s a familiar nightmare you’ve had many times. Hualing thinks it’s the worst part of living with you because she’s such a light sleeper. You have to leave your bed so you won’t keep her up with you tossing and turning, or worse your crying. She tries to be nice about it, but she doesn’t deal well with things that interfere with her sleep. You can’t blame her. You do what you normally do and go down to Quanzhe’s room. He’s often awake at strange hours because he has trouble getting to sleep sometimes. From outside the door you can hear the TV on, so you knock quietly. You’re surprised when Zeren answers the door, and he’s equally surprised to see you. 

“Is Quanzhe up?” you ask, peeking around him. 

“No. He’s asleep.”

“What are you doing up?” you ask as you stand in the hallway. 

“I couldn’t sleep, so I’m just playing video games. What are you doing here?” He steps aside so you can come in before he waits for a response. 

“I couldn’t sleep either.”

You sit on the couch next to him and gesture for him to go on playing. 

“What’s keeping you up?” you ask after a few quiet minutes between you two.

“I don’t know. Just couldn’t fall asleep. I laid there for a couple of hours and sleep wouldn’t come. I got bored, so I came out here.” He never looks away from the screen. “What about you?”

“I get nightmares. I keep Hualing up if I toss and turn in bed, so sometimes I come down here to hang out with Quanzhe if he’s up, too.”

“Oh. Well, you can hang out with me as long as you want,” he offers, and you feel grateful. "Have you always had nightmares?" he asks, just to fill up the space between you or maybe just to hear you talk.

"Ever since I was a little kid. When I was younger I used to crawl in bed with my mom or one of my brothers. Now…" you can't believe you just admitted that and you feel so embarrassed. 

"Oh. Is that why you end up sleeping with Quanzhe sometimes?" he asks. He always thought it was a little strange to find you in their bedroom on random mornings and wondered how you ended up there.

You blush. "Yeah. He's cool about it. He said his little sister has nightmares, too, so he's used to it." There's an awkward pause. "I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't invade your space like that. I'm trying to stop this year. I guess I need to grow up." Truthfully you're so used to sharing a bed with your youngest brother that sometimes it's hard for you to sleep alone.

"It doesn't bother me. But it makes sense now. I always thought you guys had something going on, but Quanzhe said you don't. I believe him, I mean obviously, now that you’re dating Xinchun, but I still didn't understand that. I get it now."

You stick around a while longer, letting silence sit between you. It's not uncomfortable. You watch him play and let your mind clear of any other thoughts. When you hear him yawn you wonder if he's still up because of you, so you go back up to your room and try to sleep, leaving him to wonder what it would be like to cuddle with you.

You and Xinchun have been dating for several weeks, but you don’t see him that often. He has a lot of projects for school since he’s an architecture major, and you’ve had to pick up extra shifts at the dining hall. On the nights you do see him you two usually end up studying or watching a movie at his place. You make out sometimes, but it’s still not magical. There’s very little passion between you two, and that would be okay if the one thing he did get fired up about wasn’t Quanzhe. 

“I just don’t see why you still have to spend so much time with him. I feel like all the time you’re not spending with me, you’re spending with him,” he complains to you one night while you’re at his apartment after telling him yet another funny story about you and your best friend. 

“That’s just not even true, and it’s not respectful of my time. I work _a lot_ and I study _a lot_. You’re the one who’s always too busy to spend time with me. So, I hang out with him because he’s my _best friend_. You knew this when we started dating.”

“You hang out with him so you can get high,” he mumbles. 

“I don’t, but even if I did, _so what_? It’s not a crime, Xinchun. Some people like to have fun.” You kind of can’t believe that just came out of your mouth because you’ve been swearing up and down to Quanzhe that you don’t think Xinchun is boring. 

“Seriously? That’s your definition of having fun?” he spits back, arms crossed, like he’s not impressed. Nothing impresses him. 

“Maybe it is.”

“Okay, so how do you explain the fact that you still sleep with him?” he asks out of the blue.

You freeze for a second. ‘How did you know that?’ is clearly the wrong question to ask, but it’s the first one on your mind. “First of all, we literally only sleep together. Two people sleeping, fully clothed, in the same bed. Secondly, we’ve only done that once since you and I started dating. And thirdly, we’ve never talked about this being an exclusive thing, so even if those other things weren’t true, what business is it of yours?”

He huffs. “Yeah, you’re right. We’ve never defined what this is. So let’s do that. Do you want to stop this or do you want to be my girlfriend and stop messing around with Quanzhe?”

You take a deep breath. You weren’t expecting that when you came over tonight, but you can’t say you’re surprised either. “You’re asking me to choose between you and him?”

“Yes.”

You shake your head. “Fine. I choose him.”

“Why?”

“Because he would never make me choose. He’s never done anything but be there for me. He lets me sleep with him because I get nightmares and I hate sleeping alone. You’re a nice guy, Xinchun, but I need more than that. And I’d rather have my friends than someone who tried to separate me from them.” With that you put your backpack on and prepare to leave. He offers to drive you home, but you decline. 

Once you leave his apartment you pull out your phone and call Zeren. It isn’t that late, but it is dark and if he’s out on campus it would be nice not to walk home alone. 

“Hello?” he answers, breathing heavily. 

“Sorry. Are you practicing?”

“Yeah. What’s up?” he doesn’t sound bothered but worried. You realize you’ve never called him before. 

“Um. Nothing. Sorry. Go back to what you were doing. Sorry I interrupted.”

“Bubbles, what’s wrong?” he asks again. 

“Um...I’m just walking home from Xinchun’s, and it’s kinda far, and I didn’t want to walk alone.” You feel embarrassed, but Zeren’s gotten so into your head that you need someone to walk with you at night. You know the building where he practices is closer to Xinchun’s apartment than your dorm. 

“Doesn’t Xinchun usually drive you home?” he wonders. His breath has slowed down. 

“Yeah, but we broke up.”

“Oh. Okay. Start walking toward the library and I’ll find you.” You can hear him gathering his things. 

“Thanks,” you say before you hang up. 

You’re not even close to the library before you see Zeren jogging toward you. 

“You didn’t have to run,” you joke. 

“You know how I worry,” he breathes.

“Thanks for coming.”

“Of course. Are you okay?” He begins to walk beside you in the direction of the dorm. 

“I’m fine. It was just unexpected, and then I felt awkward about him driving home.”

“I’m sorry. What happened?” He tries not to sound as interested as he is. 

“Can we wait until we get to Quanzhe? I just don’t want to go through it over and over,” you say. 

“Yeah, sure,” he says and accompanies you quietly back home.

You go with Zeren straight to the seventh floor dorm before you even go to your own. The door is open and Quanzhe is sitting on the couch. 

“How was your date?” Quanzhe asks as you sit beside him. 

“We ended it,” you admit, looking at the TV to try to figure out what he’s watching. 

“Sorry, dude,” he says without sounding much sorry at all. He looks up at Zeren curiously. 

“You should be, it’s all your fault,” you tell him, smirking. 

“Me? What did I do?” He finally looks at you. 

“He doesn’t like how close we are. Someone told him about us sleeping together.” You try not to let your eyes slide over to Zeren, because you can’t imagine who else that Xinchun knows would tell him about it. Maybe Justin, but you're not sure if he knows. 

“You guys fought about me?” He tries and fails to keep his tone neutral. Really he’s smug. 

You roll your eyes. “Just a little. But we weren’t right for each other.”

“Because he’s boring,” Quanzhe says matter-of-factly.

“Don’t be mean.”

“I’m not. That’s not mean. I like Xinchun. He’s a fine guy. It’s okay to be boring. Just not for you. You need someone fun and more importantly passionate. Someone who’s crazy about you and who you’re crazy about. He never made any time for you. I don’t know how he planned to keep you,” Quanzhe says, as if he knows everything. 

“You know anyone?” you wonder teasingly. 

“I’ll keep an eye out.” He grabs your hand. “You need a post-breakup smoke,” he says and pulls you off the couch. You don’t see the look he throws Zeren.

“I’m really not that upset,” you tell him as you trail behind, though you do sound a bit sadder than you realize. 

“Look at you, you’re a wreck.” He sits you on his bed and prepares. “Thanks for choosing me over him,” he says as Zeren sneaks tentatively into the room. He knows he’s always invited, but he thinks you may want some time alone with Quanzhe. You pat the spot next to you, so he sits.

“You’re my little Hamster. I don’t know if there’s anyone I’d pick over you,” you admit as Zeren sits beside you. Quanzhe hands you the bong and gives you a little hamster impression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Huang Xinchun. I swear one day I WILL write a fic for him. He will be THE GUY. But it's not today. It's not this fic. And I think we all do that.


	6. Fallout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You hoped things would just be normal after your breakup, but Quanzhe is acting weird.  
> Some good old fashion angst up in here.  
> (The previous chapter six was deleted after I had fifth thoughts)

You wait in the hallway on the 7th floor. You’ve knocked a couple of times, but no one is answering. You’re supposed to walk with Quanzhe to class, but maybe he’s already gone, so eventually you leave before it’s too late. You end up arriving just before class starts and your usual seat is taken. Quanzhe is nowhere to be seen. When you see him later he says he overslept, which you think is ridiculous because the class is at 11. The next time you have that class you work an early morning shift, so you don’t walk to class with him, and he doesn’t walk himself either. By the third class you’re really worried. He’s missed a whole week, and even though he can be a little bit of a slacker he’s never been like this. You text Zeren when Quanzhe stops answering your texts and he tells you that he hasn’t left the dorm in a while, and that’s part of the reason you know it’s time to talk. He’s irritable every time you talk to him and when you go to lecture him about how attendance is important for this class and this class is important for your major you already know it’s a bad idea. But you can’t help it. You’re the responsible one. You even give him your notes so he can catch up, but you want his promise that he’ll go to class from now on. 

“What’s it to you, anyway?” he asks grumpily. His hair’s a greasy mess and he looks like he hasn’t showered in days. Zeren’s sitting in the common room now, giving you some privacy for Quanzhe’s sake while you talk in the bedroom. 

“I just want you to do well. I get it if you’re having a hard time right now, but not going to class and taking care of things isn’t going to make anything better. It’s only going to cause more problems.”

“Who says I’m having a hard time? I just don’t want to go.” He won’t look at you.

“No one, I’m just guessing.”

“Well, stop. If I’m having a hard time, I’ll tell you. Just let me be.” But you both know that’s not true. Quanzhe never asks for help. 

“Quanzhe, I just don’t want to see you suffer. I can help.”

“I don’t need your help!” he yells at you. You’ve never seen him yell before. He stands from his bed. “You’re not my mom, my sister or my girlfriend, so why can’t you mind your own damn business!”

“Quanzhe, I just-”

“No. You’re always trying to fix everyone’s problems, but no one wants you to. Go fix your own problems and leave me the hell alone!” His breathing is heaving, panting almost. He’s so soft sometimes you forget how big he is, but he feels big right now in this small space, standing over you. Even though you know he’d never hurt you, he’d never hurt anyone, his presence and his voice overwhelm you and make you feel so small, like a child. Tears well in your eyes and you look up to the ceiling to keep them from spilling. 

“Okay,” you say, and your voice is so small and shaky it barely comes out at all. Slowly you turn to the door because you don’t want to look like an idiot if you run away, but that’s what you really want to do. You open the door and Zeren is standing nearby. He heard the yelling and he almost came in. He looks at you with wide, worried eyes, but you can’t look back at him. You just cover your face and hurry away. 

“What the hell, man?” Zeren asks before you’ve even made it to the hallway. 

You can run now, so that’s what you do. You don’t have to hold back your tears anymore, so you let them fall. Wenjun’s in the hallway because he heard the yelling, too, and you run into him because you can’t see. He catches you by the shoulders and stoops to look at you. You turn your face away because you know it’s already tear streaked and red. He asks you what’s wrong, but you just pull away from him and run up the stairs to your room. Wenjun lets you go and continues down the hallway to check on his own residents. 

“She needs to mind her own fucking business and stay out of mine,” Quanzhe is saying to Zeren when Wenjun arrives. 

“She’s just worried about you,” Zeren tells him calmly.

“Well she shouldn’t. I don’t need a babysitter. She can’t tell me what to do.” Quanzhe’s pacing now that you’ve left empty space in his room. 

“You may not have liked how she talked to you and maybe it’s not her place, but when has she ever had anything but the best of intentions? You didn’t need to yell at her.”

“I didn’t yell at her,” Quanzhe says, because he doesn’t believe he would do that.

“You yelled at her and made her cry. No one makes Bubbles cry.” Zeren’s still in disbelief about it himself. He doesn’t understand what’s been going on with Quanzhe lately, but if he thought his behavior was abnormal before, he’s now convinced something is wrong, because he would’ve sworn you were the one person Quanzhe would never lash out at. He knows Quanzhe would go after anyone who made you cry the way he just did.

Quanzhe doesn’t seem to have anything to say anymore because he can’t believe it either, but Zeren wouldn’t make that up. It’s just not making sense as something that really happened. 

“Is there something we need to talk about?” Wenjun asks, stepping in with his constant calmness. Zeren steps back out into the common space, making his way to the other side of Wenjun while Quanzhe comes out of the room slowly. He looks hesitant, but the lid’s been opened on the idea that he’s struggling, and some part of him does need to talk. “You wanna come down to my room, and we can talk in private?” Wenjun offers, and after a moment Quanzhe nods his agreement. 

Quanzhe tells the older boy about how stressed and anxious he is all the time, how it’s easier to just do nothing than to have to face all the things he doesn’t want to do each day. Wenjun doesn’t say too much, as usual, just lets the boy talk, and in the end he tells him how what he feels is normal and talks to him about some resources available that can help. He does his job as the RA, but he’s also worried about his friend, so he asks what happened with you. Quanzhe’s still got his hackles up about what you said because he really doesn’t like to be told what to do and he doesn’t want to be lectured about responsibility, but there’s also a lot more to it than that. It’s got nothing to do with the anxiety or the stress. He takes a long time to consider whether he should talk to Wenjun or not about the real problem between you, especially since he hasn’t talked to you. 

“Did you know Xinchun and Bubbles broke up over me?” Quanzhe finally decides to ask.

“Yeah, I heard from Xinchun,” Wenjun admits. 

“She said that he never really believed that we were just friends. He made her choose between me and him, and she chose me. The thing is, we really are just friends. Or at least we always have been. That’s the way I like it, and I thought we were on the same page. Now, I don’t know if we are. I don’t want her to have feelings for me that I don’t return.”

“Have you asked her?” Wenjun wonders.

“No. How am I supposed to ask her that? ‘Hey do you secretly have feelings for me?’”

“So you yelled at her instead?” Wenjun doesn’t mean to sound as harsh as he does.

“I really did?”

“Yeah, dude. If this is really that bad, then you need to talk to find out if she has feelings for you, and tell her your own.”

“What if she does? What do I do then?” Quanzhe’s voice wavers with desperation. “I know none of this makes sense but I can’t lose her and I can’t love her.” He runs his fingers roughly through his hair. “I shouldn’t even be talking to you about this.” Quanzhe picks himself up and trudges back to his room where he hides himself away again, not talking to Zeren or anyone else. 

You stay away for several days. Not just from Quanzhe and his roommates, but from everyone. You know deep down that some of what Quanzhe said is true. You do try to solve other people’s problems. You’re just so used to being the person who fixes things. The one who made sure the bills got paid on time, that your brothers ate dinner, that their homework was done. The one to mediate fights and to help your friends when they’re hurt or sick. You’re so used to being responsible for the people around you that sometimes you forget you’re not responsible for your friends. Even you’re annoyed with you when you realize it because it’s exactly what you hate about your life. You’re tired of always being the adult in the room. You would like to only worry about yourself for once, but you always forget and involve yourself where you don’t need to. So you decide just to stay away. 

You want to apologize to Quanzhe because you know, despite your good intentions, that you were wrong to try to get involved in his business. But you can’t forget the way he yelled at you and how small you felt, and your heart is a little broken after he told you to go away. You let days pass barely talking to anyone. When Zeren waits for you outside your work you tell him you just want to go home and walk there in silence.

Zeren sees you though. He sees you sitting alone in the dining hall even though you know half the people there and any of them would be glad if you sat down with them. He sees you sit alone and barely eat and he wishes someone would go and comfort you until he finally realizes that he’s someone, and he could at least try to comfort you. He almost does it, but you leave while he's still gathering his nerves.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had fifth thoughts about the chapter I originally posted as chapter 6 of Bubbles and deleted it. If you were the one glorious human that read chapter six before i took it down, please go back. I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me. I over think things.
> 
> anway...
> 
> You hope that partying and getting wasted will help you to forget everything, which it will, but it's not worth it. 
> 
> Warning: excessive underage drinking
> 
> PSA:  
> It is always worth getting involved and risking getting into a fight with your friends instead of letting them do something stupid when they're drunk. Speaking from personal experience.

“Ziyi’s having a party tonight,” Zeren tells Quanzhe the Thursday after your fight. Quanzhe just looks at him briefly before going back to his book. “You should come. Get out of the room for a night.”

“I’m fine. I don’t want to go,” Quanzhe says curtly. 

“Bubbles is going with Hualing,” Zeren says, hoping that will make a difference, but Quanzhe just rolls his eyes. Zeren sighs. “How long are you going to go on not talking to her?” 

“We just need some space,” Quanzhe mumbles.

“You might need some space. But you haven’t seen her. She’s depressed, man. She misses you.” Zeren misses the light in your eyes. 

“She’ll be fine. She’s going to a party tonight, right?” 

“Yeah, but it’s one of Ziyi’s parties,” Zeren emphasizes, implying a lot about what kind of activities go on there.

Quanzhe shrugs. “Ziyi isn’t interested in girls like her.”

“That’s not really what I meant. You know Hualing will leave her in a second to fend for herself. And Ziyi may not be into her, but there will be other guys there,” Zeren pushes. 

“What’s your point?” Quanzhe asks, getting very frustrated with this conversation. 

“I just think you should go to look out for her is all,” Zeren mumbles. 

“She’s a college girl, not a toddler, Zeren. If you’re so worried about it, then you go and keep an eye on her.”

“I’m not her best friend. She’ll think I’m there stalking her.”

Quanzhe lets out a groan of frustration. “Look, man, she’s single now. So either get ready to ask her out, or accept that some other guy is going to go after her. Either way it is not my problem.”

Zeren shakes his head. “This isn’t even about that. I just don’t want anything bad to happen to her.”

“Then go to the party and watch out for her. Just leave me out of it.”

“What’s your problem, man?” Zeren stares at his friend, baffled by his lack of concern.

“Nothing.” Zeren can see that Quanzhe’s not going to give in, so he leaves him be. Instead he checks with Chengcheng to see if he wants to go to the party with him, which of course he does. 

By the time they arrive, you’re already pretty drunk. Zeren understands you’re entitled to that, and even after he loses Chengcheng to the crowd and the girls hanging around, he tries not to obsess over you. He wanted to come to the party before he knew you would be there, so he tries to enjoy himself with the many friends he has there. Still, he always seems to have one eye out for where you are. 

You’re having a pretty good time relative to how shitty you feel. You and Hualing did shots with Ziyi and Xukun when you got there, so it didn’t take long to start feeling tipsy. You want desperately to let go of the stress and pain of the last couple weeks, your break up with Xinchun and then your breakup (?) with Quanzhe. You’re ready to let loose and forget everything. 

You see Zeren enter with Chengcheng and you wave, but they don’t see you. You’re dancing with some senior that Xukun introduced you to, whose name you can’t currently remember, and he’s holding you close, his hand on your hip, occasionally drifting south. You can’t see Hualing. She left your side a long time ago. The guy pulls you tight against him and nuzzles your neck. 

Zeren recognizes the man you’re dancing with as Jeffrey. He knows Jefferey has a reputation as a player and that he lives in the house with Ziyi and Xukun. Still when he sees Jeffrey kiss your neck, he doesn’t do anything. He knows he has no right to stop you, no matter how jealous he is of the man. You’re swaying just a bit too much, out of sync with the music, but it isn’t until he sees Jeffrey pull you toward the stairs that he thinks it’s a problem. Zeren knows you’re not into hooking up, and you definitely wouldn’t consent to going to some guy’s room if you were sober, but you’re looking pretty limp right about now. He makes an effort to make it seem casual, the way he bumps into you before you two can make it to the stairwell.

“Hey, Jeffrey. Hey, Bubbles,” he yells casually over the music. 

“Oh, hey, Zeren. You know Bubbles?” Jeffrey smirks. 

“Yeah. She lives in my dorm. Maybe I should take her back there. She looks pretty tired.” Almost by chance, Zeren makes eye contact with Chengcheng over Jeffrey’s shoulder and gives him the slightest jerk of his head so Chengcheng will come over. 

“Hey, Zeren,” you slur, almost inaudibly as you hang on to Jeffrey, who’s practically holding you up. 

“Hey, Bubs. Are you ready to go home?” Zeren asks, but you don’t really respond. Your eye lids just droop until they’re almost closed. 

“My bed is closer,” Jeffrey says, half to you, half to Zeren.

“Yeah, but hers is probably safer,” Zeren replies, but not quite loud enough for Jeffrey to hear. 

Just then Chengcheng is there and he lifts your other arm over his shoulder as he stoops down to support you. He turns your chin toward his with a light touch of his fingers. “Hey, Bubs, you don’t look too good,” he says. 

“Chengs...don’t be mean,” you slur, but only he can hear you. 

“I’m just teasing, babe. You know I love you no matter what you look like,” Chengcheng smiles. He wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you away from Jeffrey, against his own body. 

“Hey, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Jeffrey says loudly so that the people nearby turn to look.

“We’re just gonna take her home. Put her to bed, alright?” Chengcheng says like it’s nothing. 

“Why don’t you just mind your own business?” Jeffrey retorts, trying to pull your hand back, but you’re already crouching into Chengcheng’s side. 

Suddenly Ziyi appears behind Zeren. “Is everything okay over here?” He knows that Jeffrey has a habit of fighting while drunk. 

Zeren does a quarter turn to look up at Ziyi and notices Hualing close behind. “No problem, we’re just gonna take Bubbles home.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea,” Ziyi agrees, and looks at Jeffrey until he releases your hand and holds his own up like he’s innocent.

Chengcheng half drags you toward the front door. Zeren turns back to say something to Hualing. “She said she was coming out with you tonight. Why did you leave her?”

“I brought her out to have a good time,” Hualing says defensively. “She was having a good time.”

“Whatever,” Zeren spits the word and follows his friends out the door. 

Chengcheng leans you against the porch railing and waits for Zeren. You’re barely lucid. Your vision is dark, but you feel okay leaning against Chengcheng so you won’t fall over. 

“What are we going to do? I’m afraid someone’s gonna think we’re the bad guys if we get a car to take her home like this,” Chengcheng admits. 

Zeren lets out one ironic laugh. “Do you think you can carry her on your back? Or we could call Wenjun?”

“I’m on Wenjun’s shitlist right now. I’d rather carry her.” Chengcheng looks at you. You don’t look that heavy. “She’s not gonna puke on me, is she?”

“Luckily she’s not much of a puker. I’ve only seen her throw up once, and that was a whole different story.” Zeren cups your chin in his hand, but your eyelids are too heavy to look at him. “Now it looks like she’s just going to sleep.” Zeren almost smiles at how goofy you look. It would be amusing if it wasn’t so worrisome.

“Alright then, up you go,” Chengcheng says as he hoists you onto his back. What little control you have left you put into holding onto him. 

“What happened?” Quanzhe asks the moment the three of you walk in the door, your body draped over Chengcheng.

“You didn’t want to go, so you probably don’t want to know,” Zeren replies.

“Is she okay?” Justin asks. They’ve both moved off the couch so that Chengcheng can lay you there. Zeren gently guides your head down. 

“I think she’ll be fine. She just needs to sleep it off. She’s gonna feel like shit tomorrow, though,” Zeren says, tucking your hand over your chest.

“Did someone drug her?” Quanzhe wants to know. 

“I don’t think so. I think she’s just really drunk. Not that you care,” Zeren says gruffly with his arms crossed. 

“Knock it off, Zeren. I know I was kind of being a dick earlier, but obviously I care. You know I don’t want her to get hurt.” Quanzhe looks genuinely upset and kneels down beside you to stroke the hair off your face. 

“This is exactly what I was talking about, Quanzhe. If we weren’t there she would've ended up with Jeffrey. But if you had gone she wouldn’t be in this situation at all,” Zeren tells him. 

“Don’t put this on me. I’m not her fucking boyfriend, okay! Maybe she wanted to go with Jeffrey. Why’s that my fault?” Quanzhe’s voice was approaching yelling again, and it made you stir a little in your unconscious state. 

“Dude. What the fuck? I guess you really don’t want to be her friend anymore. I can’t believe you,” Zeren shakes his head. The two other boys look at each other in confusion as Quanzhe storms off to his room and slams the door. 

Zeren gets you a blanket and a pillow and lets you sleep on the couch. He’s still really worried about you though, so he stays in the common room with you all night, waking up frequently in the uncomfortable chair that he’s sleeping in and checking if you’re still okay. He’s awake when you finally open your eyes, but his head is somewhere else. 

“How did I get here?” you ask, holding your hand to your pounding head as you try to sit up. 

Zeren jumps at the sound of your voice, but is instantly relieved to see you moving around. “Chengcheng and I had to carry you home,” Zeren says, not mentioning that Chengcheng did the heavy lifting. 

“Um, thanks. I’m sorry.” You don’t know why a quick tear slips out of one of your eyes. You don’t like to be a burden. 

“It’s fine, Bubs. It’s like you say, someday you’re gonna need someone to be nice to you. Last night was your night,” Zeren tells you sympathetically. 

You pull yourself off the couch just as Justin comes rushing into the room. “I got everything!” he says very loudly. Zeren shushes him as you cover your ears. “Oh. Sorry,” he whispers. “I got you pain killers, gatorade and a breakfast sandwich from the dining hall.”

“Aw, thanks Justin,” you smile at him. He looks proud of himself. 

“I should go,” you groan as you take the things Justin is shoving into your hands. “I don’t want Quanzhe to see me here.”

“Bubs,” Zeren starts. 

“It’s fine, Zeren. I’m sorry for causing trouble.”

“It’s okay, bubs. Take it easy, alright?” he gives you a faint smile as you move slowly toward the door. Justin opens it for you as you shuffle out. 

You don’t realize until you get to your own door that you don’t know where your keys or your phone are. You’d already lost them by the time you were rescued last night. You’re really thankful when you knock on the door and Hualing answers. 

“Where the fuck did you go?” she asks when she sees you. 

“Don’t yell at me,” you mutter. 

“You look like shit.”

“I feel like shit.”

“You were such a mess last night. You left all your stuff at Ziyi’s,” she tells you. 

“Don’t even start with me...Did you bring it back?” You feel like you should be mad at her, if for no other reason than that she looks like she got a full ten hours of sleep and is ready to go walk a runway. You don’t realize it’s almost eleven o’clock.

“Yeah, on your bed. Are you going to class?” she wonders. 

“Fuck no. I’m going to die,” you moan. You had actually already planned not to go. You knew you were going to drink so much you wanted to die. You’re honestly not surprised, but you are regretful. But if Quanzhe can skip then so can you. 

Quanzhe doesn’t skip though. He finally drags his ass out of bed and takes a shower and walks himself to class, hoping that he’ll see you there and he can act like nothing has been wrong so he doesn’t have to deal with more problems of his own making. He’s really disappointed when you’re not there. 

You shower, hoping it will make you feel human again, but it doesn’t. You just feel like washed shit. You call in sick for work, and then you call Justin because you know he doesn’t have a class and that he’ll bring you pizza if you pay him. You manage to convince him to do some platonic cuddling and binge watch netflix all afternoon, but you ask him not to tell any of his roommates.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zeren does his best to get the band back together.

It’s Saturday. The past few Saturday’s you’ve come down to the guys' room to ask if anyone wants to go to the shelter with you to volunteer, and it’s become one of Zeren’s favorite parts of the week. But you don’t come at the usual time, and after even more time passes he finally decides to go up to your room and ask you, but no one is there. He thinks maybe you decided just to go on your own and he goes down to the bus stop because he figures that even if you’re not there it’s still a good place to go, and he can play with the dogs after. 

He guessed right though. Just like him, this has become one of your favorite things, and even though you’re sad you won’t skip it. Zeren finds you lost in your own thoughts as you clean out kennels. 

“Hey, Bubs,” he says from behind you, causing you to turn in surprise. You didn’t expect him to show up here. 

“Zeren, what are you doing here?” You stop your work for a moment to look at him. 

“It’s Saturday. It’s our thing, right?” he gives you a little lopsided smile, and it’s the first real warmth you’ve felt in days. 

“We have a thing?” 

He shrugs. “Yeah.” He leaves it at that and goes into the kennel next to where you’re working to clean. 

After a couple of hours you’ve cleaned them all and you both go into the small room where people can meet with the animals and play with a few of the newcomers. The dog you and Zeren rescued is gone; her owners came and found her, and you wish all these other ones would be rescued, too. 

“The only thing I hate about living in the dorms is no pets,” Zeren says while he scratches a scraggly looking Schnauzer. 

“I know. I can’t wait to have a bunch of pets. When I’m older it’s just going to be me and a bunch of cats and dogs.” You’ve never had a pet of your own because there were already too many mouths to feed and things to take care of, but it’s the one thing you know you want in the future.

“You’re not going to be alone, Bubs,” Zeren comments, as if that was the point. 

You shrug. “Nope. I’m gonna have like a dozen cats,” you laugh.

He’s quiet for a moment before he tells you, “Quanzhe feels bad, you know. He’s just too proud to apologize. But he misses you.”

“I don’t see what that has to do with anything,” you say, because you don’t want to talk about how much you miss him. 

“It doesn’t. I just wanted to tell you.”

“He doesn’t need to apologize. He was right. If he doesn’t want to be my friend ‘cause I’m too nosy and bossy, I can’t blame him for that.” You’re not sure why you’re talking to Zeren like this. You’ve never talked like this. It’s weird to be talking about Quanzhe, and it’s weird that your friendship with one boy is all messed up while you’re just realizing maybe you and Zeren actually are real friends. He helped you out the other night. You have a _thing_. You want to ask Zeren why he really came here today, but you don’t because you don’t want to make him feel like you didn’t want him to. You’re glad he’s here, whatever his reasons are. You play with the dogs for almost an hour before you head back together on the bus.

“Do you have any plans tonight?” Zeren asks as you ride. You shake your head. You were going to sit in your room and listen to emo music. “There’s a dance competition at this club tonight if you want to come. It’s 18 and up, so shouldn’t be a problem.”

“You’re competing?” He gives you a slight nod. Zeren never invites people to his competitions. You feel honored. You agree to go, and you talk to him for a while about the video you saw of his competition in the summer and how impressed you were. You ask him questions, and you’re surprised he opens up and tells you about how long he’s been dancing. He tells you his parents don’t like it, but he refused to study anything else. You admire his passion and determination. You talk all the way up to the 7th floor and you’re about to get off the elevator and go to his room with him when you remember you aren’t exactly welcome there anymore. You’d actually forgotten your sadness for a little while when you were talking to him, but now it’s back, heavy on your shoulders. He looks apologetically at you and he wants to tell you to come down and work things out, but the words won’t come out and he just watches the doors close. 

Zeren texts you the location for the competition and you go alone because he only invited you, and you think that’s a big deal so you respect his privacy. Besides one of your best friends is mad at you and the other always has plans on Saturday night, so what’s a girl to do? It turns out you won’t be alone though. Zhengting is there, and he’s chatting with Ziyi and Xukun. Zhengting gives you a tight hug when he sees you because even though you haven’t talked to him about your problems he heard from Wenjun and he’s happy to see you out of your room. 

Zeren blows you away with his performance. You’ve never seen anyone dance like him, with so much power and precision, and it’s a little surprising at first coming from someone so subtle, but when you think about it, it actually makes a lot of sense. The judges are impressed, too, and he receives second place, although you think he deserves first. But it may just be because he’s wearing that bandana again and it makes you kinda weak in the knees. Zeren’s almost the last to perform, and after it’s over he finds you and gives you a hug. He apologizes for being sweaty, but you didn’t even notice because he doesn’t normally hug you and it felt nice, firm and not tentative at all. He’s smiling so brightly it brings out a smile of your own. As you’re talking with him and the other guys you see Chengcheng approaching. You’re about to greet him excitedly, since you haven’t seen him since he carried your drunk as home, but then you notice the hooded figure behind him is Quanzhe and something in your brain tells you to get lost. Without saying anything you turn and make for the door. You’ve only made it a few steps out into the fresh night air when you hear your name. 

“Bubbles!” Quanzhe says loudly. Several people hanging out on the sidewalk stop and look at him because it’s such a bizarre word to say randomly. You stop and turn toward him. He takes a few steps toward you.

“Can we talk?”

You nod and he looks around. He doesn’t want to talk in front of all these people who were just staring at him. He pulls you away to stand in front of the closed drug store next door to the club. He looks at you like he’s waiting for you to say something, but you don’t want to go first.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” he says finally. 

“You scared me,” you say, and remembering it makes your eyes water a little. It’s strange to admit that you could be scared of him, but you were, and it breaks his heart. 

“I promise I’ll never do it again.”

You look at him strangely because that’s something only a person who wants you to be in their life would say. “I’m sorry for not minding my own business,” you say quietly. 

“I know you were just trying to look out for me.”

“You’re right though. It’s not my job. I’ll try to remember that. Can’t promise I’ll never do it again though.”

“I don’t know who you’d be if you weren’t trying to help,” he laughs. 

You feel a little better, but it feels like something is still off. You really want to hug him but just as you step forward to wrap your arms around him he speaks again. 

“There’s something else we need to talk about,” he says. 

“Oh,” you say, hanging your head and taking the step back. 

“I’ve been feeling weird ever since you told me you chose me over Xinchun,” he confesses.

You scrunch up your face. “Why’s that?”

“I don’t want to stand in the way of you finding a man that loves you and who you can love,” he tells you. “I’m not that man, you know?”

“You don’t love me?” you ask, a little confused. 

He sighs heavily. “I do love you, but not in that way. You mean a lot to me, but I’m never going to want to be in a relationship with you.” He looks frightened as he says it.

“Duh. I know that. But don’t say you don’t love me, you jerk,” you say. 

“Do you think you can get past your feelings for me?” he asks suddenly. 

“My feelings for you?” you ask in disbelief. “Do I need to? I feel the same way about you that you feel about me. What’s the problem?”

“You do? You mean, you’re not in love with me?”

“Man, could you be more arrogant? I love you like you were my own blood, only more because I’ve never had to deal with your diapers,” you chuckle. “But seriously, you aren’t keeping me from finding love.”

“Oh thank god,” he says quickly. He grabs you by the shoulder and pulls you into his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around you. He’s warm and comforting, and now it feels right. 

“I missed you,” you mumble into his chest. 

“Me, too, Bubs.”

After a long time you let him go and suggest you go back to rejoin the group. 

“Did you guys kiss and make up?” Chengcheng asks when you come back. You punch him in the arm. "Hey!" he cries. "Is that any way to treat someone who carried your drunk ass all the way home from Ziyi's?"

You blush and rub his arm gentle. "No. I'm sorry. Thanks. I owe you big time."

Zeren is smiling brightly still and throws an arm around Quanzhe, happy things are right in the world once again. Your whole group takes a slow walk back toward campus. The four of you share a couple of joints along the way. Zeren’s hand is warm when it brushes against yours when you pass to him. 

“Did you invite all of us tonight so that Quanzhe and I would make up?” you ask Zeren later while you’re in their room. Quanzhe’s in the bathroom. You and Zeren are sitting on the floor eating cheetos.

He shrugs. “I just wanted you to be able to come back,” he says. “Wasn’t the same around here without you. And I didn’t want to watch both of you being upset anymore.”

“Thanks, Ze,” you smile and bump him gently with your shoulder. He’s got a goofy stoned smile that shows his dimples and without thinking about it he puts his arm around your shoulder in a hug while he reaches his hand in your chip bag. Quanzhe comes back and sees the two of you sitting like that. He grins madly. Zeren clears his throat and moves his arm.


	9. Haunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You convince the gang to go to a haunted house, but are you clinging to Zeren because your scared, or is there something more?

“Hey, so, I was reading about this haunted house thing about an hour away from here,” you start to tell Zeren as you walk home from the library one night in october.   
“The one at the prison?” he wonders.   
“Yeah! You’ve heard of it?”   
“Yeah. I always tried to get Quanzhe to go, but he’s a big baby and wouldn’t go with me. You wanna go?” he asks.   
“Oh yeah! I wanna scream my head off!” You tell him with a strange grin stretching your face.   
“Are you scared?” he wonders at your expression.   
“So scared! But I like it. I’ve never gotten to go to a haunted house before.”  
“What? Never?” he looks at your in shock  
“No. I never got to have any fun in high school. I basically babysat my brothers every night of my life. I really want to go,” you explain to him.   
“We’re going to a haunted house this weekend,” Zeren declares as the two of you walked into the boy’s dormroom.   
“No,” Quanzhe says, shutting him down completely with the small word.   
“Why not?” Zeren asks.   
“Because it’s just another one of your lame ideas,” Quanzhe replies, although the real reason was that he scares easily.   
“Actually, it was Bubbles’ idea,” Zeren tells him, looking down at you.   
Quanzhe turns to you, your bottom lip sticking out in a pout. “Well, in that case I’m in!” Quanzhe smiles.   
“What? Why?” Zeren cries. “You just called it lame.”  
“That’s because I thought it was your idea. I love all of Bub’s ideas.” Quanzhe was still trying to suck up to you after your fight. He didn’t need to, but you weren’t about to stop him from going along with everything you said and buying you food and all the other small things he was trying to do to get back in your good graces. He had been a jerk unnecessarily, after all.  
“Exactly. All my ideas are excellent.” You beam. Zeren stops his annoyance midstream, because he agrees.   
It’s Wenjun’s weekend for a Saturday night off duty, so you all agree to go, since he has a car and the haunted house is at an old closed-down prison that is supposed to be haunted.   
“Everyone partner up,” you say as you all pour out of Wenjun’s SUV. “I’m going with Zeren,” you declare, grabbing his arm.   
Zeren and Quanzhe both snap their heads to look at you. “What?” they say in unison.   
“Zeren’s not scared of anything. He’ll protect me,” you shrug.   
Zeren smiles smugly at Quanzhe who pouts. “But what about me? You drag me here and then abandon me?” Quanzhe whines.   
“You can go with Zhengting,” you tell him.   
“Zhengting is a bigger scaredy cat than me,” Quanzhe complains.   
“I resent that,” Zhengting mumbles, even though he knows it’s true.   
“Fine. Then go with Chengcheng,” you suggest.   
“Nuh uh. Justin and I have a bet to see who screams first, so I have to be by his side to see when he screams,” Chengcheng tells you.   
“I’M NOT GONNA SCREAM THIS TIME,” Justin yells at him.   
“Wenjun?” you ask as he locks the car.   
“I’m gonna stick with Xinchun,” he says calmly. You weren’t really bothered by the fact that he’d invited your ex, but had made for a quiet car ride for you.   
“Sorry, looks like you’re stuck with me,” Zhengting says to Quanzhe, who rolls his eyes and mutters a ‘fine.’  
Zeren is actually terrified. He was only good at masking his fears, but now you’re depending on him to be fearless. He tries to surreptitiously take deep breaths to calm himself as you all walked toward the entrance of the prison. You all pay your admission fees and walk cautiously through the doors.   
First up are some not very convincing ghosts. They wear too much make-up and try too hard to make “spooky” sounds as you walk by. After that you have to walk up a flight of stairs, and you cling desperately to the railing instead of Zeren as you go, due to the darkness of the corridor. Lights flashes briefly in the next hallway, giving you a momentary glimpse of the cell block ahead of you before going pitch plack again. You cling to the leather of Zeren’s jacket sleeve and let him walk a half step ahead of you. He decides to go bravely into the darkness. The lights flash again to reveal a dead inmate to your right, causing you to jump left into Zeren, and he quickens the pace. You hear Quanzhe and Zhengting yelp behind you. Hands stick out at you from both sides, attempting to grab you. You shut your eyes tight and hold on to Zeren as he leads you to the end of the corridor. You turn a corner and head to the infirmary. Your heart is already beating fast when a zombified nurse stretches her arm out to you. She crawls after you on the floor as you push Zeren forward, screaming for the first time. Zeren’s heart is about to beat out of his chest, but he does his best to keep his voice silent, not wanting you to know that he isn’t as unshakeable as you think he is.   
As you rush into the next hallway, Zeren stops dead in his tracks, forcing you to run into him and stumble backward. The lights flash and you see that what has him stalled is a pair of creepy looking twins standing in the middle of the hallway you were supposed to enter. You grab Zeren’s hands, interlocking your finger in his to hold on for dear life and take a small step forward. You take a few more steps and he follows you reluctantly, but the girls are not moving. They’re clearly real children, and they are standing their ground, and it’s absolutely fucking terrifying. You can hear Quanzhe and Zhengting coming up behind you guys, Zhengting’s shrieks and heaving breathing fills the air, and you know you can’t stand there forever. You steel your nerves and run around the creepy pair, pulling Zeren behind you as you yell “aaah!” but it’s not quite a scream. Once you’re a good twenty feet past them and Zhengting and Quanzhe are having their own new screaming fit you pause to catch your breath, and Zeren nervously puts his arms around you.  
“Why are they so creepy?!” he says and you’re not sure if he’s holding onto you for your sake or his own.   
“I don’t know, but you’re going first for the next one,” you tell him.   
“Okay,” he sighs and lets you take his hand again as you turn another corner. You don’t notice how sweaty his palms are having you so close because your own are slick from fear.   
Things are quiet in the next corridor. Too quiet. You can hear your own footsteps, and you know that’s bad. As Zeren leads you quietly through a room a figure jumps out at you, sending you curling into Zeren’s chest for safety before you hear the motor of a chainsaw. You let out a blood curdling scream and take off running. Zeren manages to keep close behind you.   
“Bubs, don’t run!” he tells you when he finds you. “It’s okay. It’s fake,” he promises, wrapping his arms around you.   
“I know,” you pant. “I know. I’m sorry.”  
“It’s okay,” he chuckles. You’re at the top of another stairwell, a place of brief reprieve, but the only place to go is down. “I think we’re almost done. Are you ready?” He releases you and you can’t help but notice how much less safe you feel now that you’re on your own. In the distance you hear someone scream. It sounds like...Chengcheng?  
Zeren lets you take hold of his arm again and leads you slowly down the staircase. What’s left of the horrors passes you by in a blur, since your eyes are mostly closed and you’re being pulled along by a quick-moving Zeren. Before you even realize it, your cheeks are met with the cold night air outside the prison walls. You open your eyes slowly.   
“We made it?” you ask, looking up at Zeren, who’s grinning affectionately at you. He nods. “Oh, cool. That was fun!” you giggle.   
“You had fun?” he chuckles and looks down at the arm you’re still holding on to. You release him self consciously.   
“I did! Thanks for helping me get everyone to come.”   
You walk past him and down onto the gravel below the steps as you hear the sounds of others coming, a mixture of pants, laughs and screams. It’s a good thing you moved in time or Quanzhe and Zhengting would probably have sent you tumbling down the steps in their urgency to leave the ghastly building. Quanzhe comes crashing into you and holds onto you while he catches his breath.  
“Are you okay, Ham?” you ask, your voice muffled by him. He gives you a loud high-pitched groan in response, and you adjust yourself to stand square to him and wrap your arms around his waist, letting him bury his head in your neck. “I’m sorry, babe. I should’ve gone with you. Thanks for coming,” you speak soothingly to him.   
He sighs. “It’s okay,” he tells you quietly now that his heart rate is calming down. “Did you do okay with Zeren?” he asks so softly in your ear that only you can hear. He turns his head just a little to catch the man in question looking on at the two of you before quickly averting his gaze.   
“Yeah, he was great. Didn’t even complain when I practically jumped on him,” you tell Quanzhe while you rub his back.   
“Yeah, I’ll bet he didn’t,” Quanzhe mumbles.   
“What was that?” you question, pulling away from him just a bit.   
“Nothin’. Let’s go to the car,” he says, pulling you by the arm as the last few exit the building.   
Everyone piles in and you head to a local drive in to get milkshakes before heading back to campus. On the way back, you’re squished in the back seat between Zeren and Quanzhe. The former’s eyes grow wide and turn on the latter, who merely grins, when you lean your head over and fall asleep on his shoulder.   
“Guys, keep it down, Bubble’s is trying to sleep,” Quanzhe whisper-yells to the other boys in the car.   
“I’m not sleeping,” you mumble, rubbing your head onto Zeren’s shoulder just as you slip away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was no reason for this other than fluff lol

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are ALWAYS appreciated. I would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you for reading!


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